he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I could fuck to npr.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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