$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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