how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
