I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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