I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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