She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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