I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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