They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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