You work out of a Hotel?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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