My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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