I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
