new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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