Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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