Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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