So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
