you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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