No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
