PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
