im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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