is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
