I bet he comes in French.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
