Im at strip club and am horny
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
