Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
