i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
