You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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