There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
