I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
