Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
