Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
