Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
