and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
