i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
