Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
