So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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