I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
