I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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