Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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