man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
