You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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