I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
PANTIES FOUND
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