watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
