Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
