I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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