Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to calm my uterus...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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