the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
