I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
