i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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