I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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