i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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