I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There r osticjed everywhere
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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