Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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