Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I pour the whiskey from now on
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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