Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
