He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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