good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you had me at cake vodka
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize