and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
