My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
