I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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