How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
