next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
